A couple of friends now have told me the idea that if you write down the attributes of your ideal partner, he or she may suddenly appear. One of my friends claimed it work for her within a month of writing it down.
I feel like I'm ready. I've done lots of dating, made a couple of mistakes, but generally dated some great women who have set the bar pretty high. Now more than ever I feel I know what is important to me. Here's my list below, and by putting it out into the universe like this I'm hoping it might lead me to find my dream girl soon - even if she's nothing like what I expected. :)
A Summary of What I Want to Look For
THREE P'S OF PERSONALITY:
- (1) Presence ......... (unforgettable, compassionate, open minded & spiritual)
- (2) Passion ......... (energetic, youthful, happy, inspired & sexual)
- (3) Principles ......... (excellent honesty, communication & values)
AND THE REST:
- (4) Intelligence ..... (engaged conversation, challenge each other & responsible)
- (5) Beauty ................ (lost in her eyes & inspired by her hips)
- (6) Movement ............... (a girl who dances spontaneously or is musical & graceful)
I deliberately tried to keep this list short, so that I can quickly identify what I find most valuable in a human being. I didn't want to say anything like "a woman who makes me fee amazing about myself", because that's vague and obvious. Someone who challenges you using encouragement and intelligence - to be open minded and fascinated in the beauty of life - who "inspires you to always be better" - is a little closer. I want a girl who inspires me to wake up and explore each day together, and who I know will be a loving and incredible mother one day.
It's a happy accident the first three things resolved to "P" words. The next three are less important. I always thought intelligence was top of my list, but I inspire people who are spiritual more and more - people who make me feel like word is magical.
A Complete Wishlist
If this seems like an impossible list... that's kind of the point. We all need to find compromise, but what's important is that I'll try to put ever list item in order of important.
I want a girl who:
- is happy as her dominate emotion.
- is relaxed. (as in, doesn't take life too seriously)
- has a big sense of humor.
- oozes personality.
- is an open book.
- literally stops to smell the flowers.
- is a romantic.
- loves to be doted on.
- is a livewire. (a girl you can flirt with and isn't sensitive anytime someone is suggestive with humor)
- is easy to spent time with and a team player at home and on travel.
I want a girl who:
- is unforgettable after the first meeting.
- is kind to strangers.
- is open minded to new ideas.
- has a spiritual side - ideally she knows about chakras, love languages etc, or want to learn, but hopefully falls short of believing astrology is real.
- is attached to nature.
- is feisty yet humble.
- is appreciative of what she has.
I want a girl who is:
- is a woman.
- who wakes up happy each day. .......(especially if she sleeps in first, like me)
- embraces her sexuality.
- has a youthful energy about her.
- has a few things she is deeply passionate about. .......(even if they are ridiculous things - I'll find it sexy)
- has high sex drive.
I want a girl who:
- is extremely honest. ....... (never lies, even if she thinks it might hurt because she knows that is the best sign that it's important to share)
- practices excellent communcation. ....... (i.e. if she thinks we need to talk about something she'll mention it right away - something I've become good at)
- has high integrity.
- would never cheat. ........ (I have never cheated in my life, but experienced once how bad it hurts to be a victim)
- is good at conflict.
I want a girl who:
- is able to have engaging conversation.
- has high emotional intelligence. ....... (at least as much as mine, plus hopefully more perceptive)
- has a good education. ....... (a PhD like me is unnecessary - probably too much actually - but a girl who applied herself at school)
- is highly creative. ....... (because thinking differently is far better than memorizing facts for an exam)
- well read.
I want a girl who:
- has a good job she either loves, or is saving money towards a future. ....... (brave enough to try her own thing is incredible)
- wants 2 kids. ....... (1 or 3 I could be convinced with the right girl, but not 0)
- wants to start a family within 5 years, but not within the next 2!
- is financially independent. ..... (doesn't need to own a home, I don't quite yet, but is aiming for that)
- doesn't mind partying occasionally, but also likes staying home... she's not restless.
I don't regard myself as superficial - I've dated a wide range of women in size, shape and ethnicity. I would like to think anyone variation may capture my heart, but I have noticed small preferences. For instance, there's something magical about tall women, because there eyes are more likely to be close to mine (I'm 6"4). It's easier to stare into their eyes, to dance with them, and I'd have to assume we'd make tall babies! I've know some wonderful asian girls, but I find I can (usually not always) relate to women of my own race better - because their values and mentality is more likely to be similar. So here's my impossible physical preferences in order of importance.
- incredible white smile
- engaging blue eyes ....... (although any pretty eyes will do)
- tall ....... (5"10 to 6"4 ideally)
- curvy butt
- caucasian ....... (for practical reasons)
- foreign accent ....... (Irish or any eastern European is sexy)
- fit but not thin ....... (able to keep up hiking, maybe yoga or something like that, but I am not really into climbing or bike riding)
- slightly younger than me ..... (but not >8 years, I made that mistake once)
- dresses with her own style ..... (not well dressed in terms of expensive outfit - more like expresses her own style)
- blonde or dark black ....... (or anything really, but I love hair that looks untamed)
I want a girl who loves:
- dance. ....... (salsa is good, but freeform, as in my www.sponteneousdance.com project is best!)
- animals and nature.
Finding this Girl
To find this girl, I believe I might need to do the following:
- Make sure I am worthy. To attract such a girl I should be worth... so I need to start to embody the type of man such a woman would be attracted to.
- Continue self development. It's been at dance workshops and self help workshops I've met the most interesting and heart centered people.
- Be unafraid and unashamed to ask for help. Which potentially means sending people this list and sharing my Dating profile video (noskeprofile.com) video around.
- Pay it forwards. I like the way it's explained at the end of this video "get everything you want in a way that helps the world"... the idea being that if I help others find love, it will help me as well.
- Proactively approach. If I see a girl on the street I find inspiring, I now have the confidence to just approach and say hi if she's by herself... but now I want to step it up and say hi even if she's with a group, as I have nothing to lose.
- Be happy. Life will always have challenges and I do have a awkwardness as an immigrant (with my mum and sister back in Australia) knowing where home is. I need to be at peace with life uncertainty to be happy about how good I have it... and then by being more relax and appreciative I have a better chance of attracting the love of my life.
- none yet.