Animal poems - Blobfish

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NOTE: This page is a daughter page of: Silly animal poems


Blobfish

The fish represents, fertility and rebirth,
But poor "Mr Blobfish", was voted the ugliest creature on earth.


It might sound mean, but have you seen the famous picture online?
It's like a sad proboscis monkey, had sex with a banana slug while mad drunk on wine.


It's face looks like a sad cartoon, or a giant piece of snot.
When trying to find a mate, personality is really all you've got.


But it's hard to have a sunny disposition, when you body looks like a bag ejaculation.
And the scientists who discovered you, call you a living aberration.


He was dredged up off the coast of New Zealand one day, without a single friend around.
They named him Mr Blobby, and made fun of his deep sad frown.


His first picture went viral, and the rest is history now.
Except what most failed to realize about Mr Blobby, I will disclose now.


In his element, deep in the sea, the pressure on his boneless body is great.
It makes his body look tighter and not so bad looking, and he's considered a fun date.


Only when you take him out deep ocean, does he look like a melty gelatinous puddle of goo.
But do you think you'd take a flattering photo, if you were dredged down into deep ocean... or would you look ugly too.


Mr Blobby said he doesn't mind, a bad photo doesn't measure who you are.
And he's also making a cut off the toy merchandize, plus he's now an instagram star.


The moral of this story, don't any fish from a picture online.
Mr Blobby is quite the catch, and he's doing just fine.


            -- by Andrew Noske







About this Poem...

Animal: Blobfish
Description/motivation: Written for Mike.... who discovered my book ("Ice Cream = Sex"), then my animal poems, then emailed me to ask for a funny poem about a fish. :)


This is one in a serious of poems I've written about various animals. The motivation, is that I love the idea of spirit animals, and I decided, one day, to ask many of my friend what animal they think best represents their personality. In some cases the poems are written with the person in mind... and sometimes it's purely about the animal. Read more about my process here. If you love this poem or want another written please e-mail me at andrew.noskeATSIGNgmail.com. :-)
This is an original poem by me!