Anthony the gay Alpaca,
Was a well known fudge packer.
With his colorful furry coat,
He was a true Peruvian fire cracker.
Anthony was sadly vein,
He wasn't very deep.
But one frightful day,
He feel in love with a sheep.
Sean the sheep,
Didn't know what to think.
The thought of Anthony's furry legs,
Turned the poor old boy's face pink.
One day Sean decided,
Oh what the heck.
I bet he's good in bed,
Based on the size of his neck.
When they got fresh the first time,
They caused quite a spark.
The static electricity in the paddock,
Lit up the dark.
After a year of loud bellowing sex noises,
The farmer couldn't take it anymore.
He made use of the Amazon,
For what Amazon is for.
Terry the farmer,
Bought a pair of velcro gloves.
If his animal had this much fun each night,
He could join in the love.
His wife was quite shocked,
But Terry got shocked the most.
The electrify created,
Fried him worse than burnt toast.
-- by Andrew Noske
About this Poem...
Description/motivation: Alpaca are weird animals right?! I wrote this poem after visiting Machu Picchu in Peru. Incredible experience! It rained a little, but fortunately the rain and fog lifted as we waited patiently, and rewarded us with magnificent views. It was the down season, so not too many tourists luckily, but our amazing guide Olga pointed out that there were sixteen permanent residents of Matchu Pitchu itself... and those were the llamas. There to keep the grass on the terraces beautiful and trim.... and to charm tourists. We also saw some alpaca and vizcacha. On the train back I wanted to write a couple of poems, but I didn't feel awake enough for a serious poems. So I wrote a silly ones. One called "Alpaca Anthony" and one called "Llama Lenny".
I hope it's not too crude for people.... it's the most crude poem I've ever written. Maybe I shouldn't have had a beer on the train at high altitude? Also, I was on this trip with my dad, and he's a bad influence. :)
This is one in a serious of poems I've written about various animals. The motivation, is that I love the idea of spirit animals, and I decided, one day, to ask many of my friend what animal they think best represents their personality. In some cases the poems are written with the person in mind... and sometimes it's purely about the animal. Read more about my process here
. If you love this poem or want another written please e-mail me at