Wedding speech - Maid of Honor for Lyubov and Bryan
About
This is a Maid of Honor script I used for the wedding of one of my most wonderful friends, Lyuba (more formally "Lyubov") from Ukraine, who married Bryan. Not only was the maid of honor a man (me), the best man was a woman (one of Bryan's closest friends), so in a wonderful way we had that balance. Their wedding / reception was Saturday March 4, 2017 at the Armory in San Francisco.... and yes, this is the castle where they film and produce porn. Lyubov and Bryan both work on the website side of kink.com... and the wedding was incredible. Words can't describe how fun it was.... how unique, and the wonderful sentiment of everyone.
I think this speech below went really well! In past weddings I wanted everyone to laugh... in this one I think I made everyone cry - but happy tears, so that was my goal. :)
Lyubov said she wanted my talk to be very authentic - basically more of me talking to her than the crowd, so that's what I aimed for. I really, really wish someone had filmed me giving this speech. Alas there is no record.
What worked pretty well is at the start I realized everyone was a little tired from standing (we had just done a big "hand on heart" segment), so I told everyone they had to grab a chair or sit on the ground before I started talking. I'm so glad I did that actually - one of the speeches after mine were even longer than mine. They hadn't made the announcement at that stage, but Lyubov was pregnant, so I knew she especially would appreciate sitting down. All really incredible, all very unique speeches, I was directly after the best man's speech.
I also impressed myself near the end of the speech by going off script, and telling everyone that I did, yes, actually date Lyubov when we first met. People didn't seem particularly shocked, but I decided to add it in bold - roughly what I said - because it was my favorite part... and I put my hand on Bryan's shoulder's as I said it. :)
Maid of Honor Speech
Hi everybody.
My name is Andrew, and this girl - who is one of the most radiant and beautiful girls on the face of this earth - is also my closest best friend.
I am maid of honor, which is a first time for me, because I’m a dude. The maid of honor often comes with different anatomy. But my understanding is that I still get the honor of talking about this adorable couple, so I’m excited.
Lyubov, you look stunning. Bryan, you look stunning too.
The process of writing a speech for Lyubov almost immediately reduced me to happy tears because I adore her so much.
When I look at Lyubov, I see the wise guardian angel we all want in life, the little sister who is so pure and innocent we just want to hug them, the tenacious entrepreneur who makes us want to change the world, the excitable foreign vegetable-eating hippy who makes us laugh and the best quality of friend you could imagine... all rolled into this wonderfully cute open smile.
Let me tell you about when I met Lyuba.
It was only two and a half years ago, but it genuinely feels like she's been my friend a lifetime. As if she’s using some kind of Ukrainian magic to distort time. And I know I’m not alone in this.
As soon as you meet Lyuba, you know you've met one of the most spectacular, effervescent women on this planet, and if you are at all receptive to that love she emulates, that's it. You are gone.
And Bryan - you know exactly what I'm talking about. Bryan was smitten worse than all of us. Lyuba is one in a billion.
I met Lyuba on the dance floor and right away I knew she was something else. Lyuba is the most wonderful dancer. I remember one time, she invited me to a silent disco in a park. This day was an adventure, even by Lyuba standards, just getting to a friend’s house - I had to carry her at one point because she refused to let her bare feet touch anything that wasn't nature. We talked to every weird hipster along the way and ended up in some random house in Berkley. It was in the backyard next to a fire she started doing her little solo wavy dance thing where just closes her eyes and goes into a trace. For hours she did that, and she kept doing it for hours after the music ended. Lyuba doesn't need drugs to be high, she doesn't need music to dance. She is high on life in a way that so few of us will ever achieve, but would love to try.
I met Lyuba dancing, and I was hooked on that energy and excited to discover we worked at the same place. A place of people that honestly didn't recognize her potential, full of logical computer people who rarely ever hug (computer people are the worst). For me, she was such a breath of fresh air - I could go to her anytime to hug, to talk about girl problems, to be real. To admire whatever stunning foreign colorful dress she was wearing and let some of that color spread into my world.
The day she left Google, was both very sad and very happy for me. I knew I'd miss her hugs, but I also was excited to see her spread her wings - to move up, and begin her career in the porn industry. Finally, I know someone in porn! I'm always happy to boast about my friend who works at kink... a princess in a castle, because how could anyone as unconventional, ambitious and talented as people be confined anywhere but a castle.
What Lyuba has is very, very hard to teach. It's not tangible - it's the way she makes us feel that makes us want to be our best. It’s her passion for life. Lyuba is always there for me, my every heartbreak, giving me incredible advice, to be authentic and honest to a fault.
In just my first year under Lyuba’s influence, I was suddenly going to strange and wild events which I can't even tell my family about. Underwater dancing, cuddle parties, staring into stranger's eyes, dancing in neon caves, talking about my darkest feelings in front of a microphone, wearing only tears. Lyuba pushed me towards that.
I've gone from a logical being, to someone who can cry during the most embarrassing movies.... Sometimes I feel I've gone from solid best man type material in former years to a hot mess of emotions, highs and lows, and I can never go back from that. But a day goes by that I don't thank her for that. One day, I want the courage to take the risks she does.
Now, it was difficult for me to imagine Lyubov meeting any guy that I thought was deserving of her actually, but if there is one guy who is as unique, passionate, quirky, trusting, loving and funny as Lyubov. It's Bryan.
A man who has more passion about hammocks, camping, potty squatties, steak and 3d printers in the tip of his finger, than most people have in their entire lives.
A man unto my own heart.... a man who eats meat! A man who builds stuff with his hands. A man who lets Lyubov be herself. And of course, just like the rest of us... when he hears the many English phrases Lyubov gets mixed-up, he laughs from his belly with no intention of ever correcting her, because to change Lyubov, or to correct what some might perceive as a mistake, is to rob the world of something special.
Okay, I'm going to go off script here (I added this bit), after such an amazing hand on heart, I feel like we all know each other well. Everything about this wedding and these people is unique, and maybe it won't be a huge shock, that I actually dated Lyubov once. I was actually chatting to Bryan's mum about it a while ago, and having a laugh. Our transition from dating to friendship was actually a really magical one, and filled with love. My biggest fear though, in that process, is that Lyubov might meet a guy one day that didn't understand what a friendship like that really means. And so Bryan, I am so thankful that you give Lyubov that freedom, and that trust, and that you just get it. It's one of my favorite things about you guys - that trust, and I hope I'm lucky enough to find that one day.
Many people in this life come and go.
... and then there are people who we can't imagine our life without. They encourage us to pause.
We are so damn proud of them every day... but especially proud today. Lyubov is one of my very, very favorite human beings on this planet. And the more I learn about and hang out with Bryan, the more I adore him too. Bryan, I hope you are ready for a lifetime of adventure, because that's what you signed up for!
You guys are an incredible couple.
To Bryan and Lyubov!
