The STARS Safe Sex Conversation
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About
NOTE: This page is a daughter page of: Safe Sex
The STARS safe sex conversation stands for Sexual health, Turn-ons, Avoids, Relationship intentions, and Safer sex practices. It's a guide to having comprehensive and respectful conversations around safe sex, especially useful in ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy) and BDSM contexts, as well as any relationship where clear communication is essential.
The STARS Safe Sex Conversation
Here's a quick breakdown of the STARS conversation model:
- Sexual Health: Discuss STI status, testing frequency, any concerns, and comfort with safer sex practices.
- Turn-ons: Share your likes, preferences, and activities that bring you pleasure, along with your desires and fantasies.
- Avoids: Cover boundaries, things that are off-limits or that you’re uncomfortable with, and any hard limits within sexual and intimate interactions.
- Relationship Intentions: Define what each of you is looking for, from casual to serious connections, and clarify relationship expectations and intentions.
- Safer Sex Practices: Discuss the methods you prefer or require for safer sex (such as condoms, PrEP, dental dams, etc.), and any agreements you might have with other partners.
Using STARS can make it easier to cover essential topics thoughtfully and without judgment. It helps partners align expectations, respect boundaries, and foster trust, especially within non-traditional relationship dynamics.
See Also
- STD Testing - The Comprehensive Way - An article I wrote explaining how to get tested properly.
- The CHIP Safe Sex Conversation - Another conversation guide, this one with 4 letters.