The RBDSMAF Sex Conversation
About
The RBDSMAF framework is a conversation guide often used in ethical non-monogamous (ENM) and BDSM communities to facilitate open, intentional dialogue before intimate or relational engagements. Developed to ensure safety, consent, and mutual understanding, RBDSMAF supports conscious relating and fosters trust. I find it's too many letters to remember, but it helps that there's a BDSM in the middle and note that outside of that community, there are better conversations like the CHIP (consent, history, integrity, protection) and STARS safe sex conversation models. that focus more on the health component of safe sex, versus the details of the interaction.
The RBDSMAF Sex Conversation
Each letter in RBDSMAF represents a key component of the pre-relationship or pre-intimacy discussion:
- R – Relationship Intentions: Discuss the type of connection you are seeking and any expectations or limitations.
- B – Boundaries: Clearly outline personal boundaries, limits, and any activities that are off-limits.
- D – Desires: Share what you would like to experience, your preferences, and any specific wishes.
- S – Sexual Health: Talk about STI statuses, testing routines, and safer sex practices to prioritize health.
- M – Meaning: Explore what this connection or experience means to you and how it aligns with personal values.
- A – Aftercare Needs: Express needs for aftercare to ensure emotional and physical well-being post-experience.
- F – Follow-Up: Agree on how you will communicate after the interaction to maintain trust and address any feelings.
See Also
- STD Testing - The Comprehensive Way - An article I wrote explaining how to get tested properly.
- The CHIP Safe Sex Conversation - A safe sex conversation guide, this one with 4 letters.
- The STARS Safe Sex Conversation - A safe sex conversation guide, this one with 5 letters.
