Talking to Girls
I've never been especially got at approaching girls. I'm usually nervous, or talk myself out of it, because I assume almost every girl is already spoken for in some way. I assume failure before I even try. Sadly, where I live, women are so used to guys playing games, you have to know just a little bit to navigate the waters - to answer questions they throw out to test your character. Obviously confidence is key.
I've know a couple of male friends who used a pickup approach of being very swarve, but that's not necessarily me. I have a couple of lovely female friends who say women appreciate authenticity, so the most wonderful thing you can say to a lady is how she makes you feel.... no games trying to trick her into thinking she has to prove herself, just being unashamedly yourself. I really prefer the latter idea, but again - not all girls are receptive to someone so honest, so until I can get to that point, maybe I do have to learn a few of the smart things to say.
Here are some lines friends have recommended and others I've come up with myself, which I believe are god. They are not pickup lines.... they are just helping me build the courage to approach girls and get to the stage where I can show my true, sometimes goofy self, and see if she adores that.
For me... in order to overcome fear of rejection, I have to remind myself two simple things:
- The joy is in the asking.... regardless of the answer - there's pride that you asked!
- You can brighten her day.... if authentic about it - no women dislikes compliments!
Approach / Quick Compliment
Need a big smile, be genuine.
- Hey, this is going to sound crazy, but I saw you across the road and I decided I had to come say hi.... that if I went home without saying anything I would be disappointed in myself.
- Hi, I just wanted to say I appreciate your presence - I noticed your smile/dress make me smile.
- Hi, I just wanted to say I think you are really pretty, I love the dress you are wearing.
- Hi, I'm a little nervous right now, but I wanted to come over and tell you that I think you are really beautiful!
- Hi, I rarely have the courage to do this, but I think you are really pretty.
Questions / Assumptions
Don't boast about yourself, put the focus on her immediately.
- Can I make a guess about you? You dress really, really well. I think you might work in XXXX?
- You wear this color really well.... I feel like it's probably your favorite color?
- I feel like you have this energy you radiate, that's really fun, like maybe you're a dancer. What do you do for fun?
- I feel like you are the type of girl, naturally apprehensive about strangers.
- You have lovely big eyes, I feel like you might be from the middle east.
If in a group:
- I feel like this is a wonderful friendship you girls have, and my guess is that this one is the one who usually drives the decisions.
Observation (Heritage / Hobbies / Personality)
- You have a really lovely calm energy about you. It's really refreshing.
- I don't know if you noticed this.... but I was looking at that painting/street and I felt something. I could sense the XZY.
- I really love this place... would you like to guess why.
- Tell me about your family, occupation, recreation.
- Where did you grow up?
- I can imagine you as a little girl (the good girl in class).
- How about family?
- Hey I have a challenge: tell me your life story in two minutes.
- I think I disagree with you there. (never just pander to her opinions!)
- Do you chat to girls like this all the time?
- For me... easy to answer: I used to be very very shy.
After asking for phone number:
- How about I give you my Facebook instead of my number.
- Hrmm... Facebook is for my friends, I really don't think we are friends yet.... how about I get your number instead to see if that's a possibility.
Younger women.... I prefer women my own age, but I'm a bad judge of age, and if they are younger they might challenge you with:
- You are too old for me.
- It's not a question of age, the question is are you mature enough for me.
- How old are you?
- Old enough to be your
- Silly: Would you like to talk about Jesus........ I'm kidding.
- Hi, I have to go soon, but I really enjoy chatting with you. I love your energy and I'd like to get to know you better... would you be down for coffee sometime?
If she rejects you:
- Thank you for being true to your feelings, and telling me that. (big smile on face)
If she has boyfriend:
- No worries, thank you for telling me you have boyfriend, saly not all girls do that, and I can already tell he's a amazing and lucky guy to have you in his life.
- Ahh, all the good ones are already taken in this city.
- This is cheeky of me, but hey - do you have any single friends who might appreciate a tall Australian gentleman.
- F.O.R.M. (Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Message)
These are some random things I've typed... I hope I add more... some of these things I've never even tried.
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