Poem - Up Town Influencer

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Up Town Influencer / Bad Influencer

So I met her online,
Highly confident, super fine.
Her profile said San Francisco,
Yet she live in New York by that time.

Successful CEO,
I had to say hello.
We had several sessions,
Chatting hours on the phone.

My friends said she must be a catfish,
But I know she was real.
I was not intimidated but intrigued by her success,
She seemed to have depth and appeal.

I send her a dozen roses,
She said that made her smile.
On valentines day I sent her a six foot teddy bear,
I wanted to spoil her in style.

She said she'd travel for love easily,
Her job got hotels for free.
But when that plan didn't work I thought to hell with it,
I'll got to New York and see.

Who is this girl,
Who talks of changing the world.

Who talks of hardship living through the Bosnian War.
Who says she wants to live forever.

Who dreams larger than life,
A friend or future wife.

I thought her inspirational.

It wouldn't be cheap,
But I had this romantic notion.
That she could be a destiny,
Beside the North Atlantic Ocean.

So I booked my flights,
And hotels for a week.
No expectations of passion,
But to make a brilliant friend at least.

And because I strive to live, spontaneous.

I arrived to stunning snow,
My first time in Central Park.
I met her on the sidewalk.
She was as beautiful as Renaissance art.

She took me straight to a restaurant,
I told her when I arrived I had my first street hotdog.
She said she was a vegetarian,
And I shouldn't eat like a slob.

It was a little shock,
To be judged after such a long flight.
But our first date was still sweet,
We went to the museum, then I wished her goodnight.

But four dates later,
It was fancy eating at her favorite places every morning and night.
It was lovely she paid every second time,
But some variety would be nice.

I told her it was my wish to see the Statue of Liberty,
And she should come, especially as she'd never been.
But she wasn't interested in anything so domestic,
So I decided, it would be just me.

She took me once for a workout,
And pushed me really hard.
She said she whipped her last boyfriend into shape,
And after their breakup he went back to the shape of a "bumble bee".

More and more I realized she was a bit mean,
Every second sentence she said "literally".
It was inspiring that she had done well in business,
As an influencer her job is marketing and beauty.

How much should you trust a CEO?
She said all her previous boyfriends had left her fearful and I said "I understand".
I even sent her the contacts of my favorite two ex-girlfriends as references,
Not just to be funny, but because I know they would vouch for me as a gentleman.

For the first time I thought,
Maybe I should have asked who would vouch for her.

I'd never even heard of "influencer" before her,
So I guess I was fascinated to meet someone new.
But after our workout my back was sore for days,
This hustle power couple lifestyle was far from me.

After five dates, one might expect a kiss,
But she talked about herself not stop and I guess is not into this.
Still I figured she could be an interesting inspiring friend.
And I booked us movie tickets for twenty five dollars a piece.

Everything's more in New York, even movie tickets it seems.

I went to the statue,
I said I would probably be done by four.
But she said she wanted to meet at two,
But I was enjoying my tourist trip a lot and couldn't cut my visit short.

Her last text to me was out-of-the-blue passive aggressive,
"Ok, I am just going to plan something with my friends".
And then nothing.

I asked if she was still going to chose a restaurant,
No reply.

I told her I was at the movies waiting for her,
No reply.

I told the middle aged couple next to me that I'd travelled all the way to New York to meet a girl, only to have been ghosted out of the blue.

They assured me not all New York people were like this,
They even offered me to stay at their place if I needed somewhere to sleep.
My hotel was already booked I said,
But that their gesture was very sweet.

I texted farewell to my "influencer" from the airport,
The whole time very pleasant in case she was had the courage to at least reply.
I somehow knew it wouldn't come though,
Someone like that would never apologize.

In her eyes,
I disrespected her time.
I chose a statue over her fancy restaurants,
And I would do it again every time.

I don't want a superficial lifestyle,
But I'm still glad I went to New York for a week.
To learn just a little more about myself,
And glimpse at a of what dating a CEO must look like (quite bleak).

I wasn't traveling to New York to get lucky,
Just a chance at a great friendship or romance.
But despite my many times I asked her,
This girl didn't want to go out and dance.

I would have to fit her life or not at all.
I probably should have asked outright if she had ADHD on one of our calls.

I refuse to give up on this idea of love,
But next time I'll be a bit more wise.
I'm glad I saw the statue,
However never date an "influencer" is my newest advice.

If you ever meet someone who expects you to change for them,
Like changing your diet or belief system.
Go to some other city instead,
And be glad if you never kissed them.

Looking back, there were plenty of red flags,
But yes, she was crazy hot.
So I looked past any signs of selfish/demanding/immature/crazy,
And I got what I got.

I'm glad I visited....
If only to realize New York is not my city.

            -- by Andrew Noske


Written after visiting a girl in New York who simply disappeared on me. March 2019.

I wanted to name this poem "Bad Influencer" as a slight play on words, but then it gives away the ending, and she's not all bad by any means.

Despite what it sounds like, I still think she's an amazing girl.... I'm just disappointed that she ghosted me because I thought she'd make a good friend at least. Probably was wrong about that all along. Luckily I still had a great time in New York and immediately after writing this poem, I can let go of most of my lingering disappointment. Not a bad outlet really. :)

No regrets... I've never met an influencer before.... and now I have. New life experience. I've actually dated one other woman who was a CEO and the outcome was not totally different. She just didn't have time. Actually I have female friends who have dated CEOs of startups, and almost always it sounds on paper amazing to date someone that driven, but the reality is you will, at best, come a low second to their company. It's like a child they already have. Actually more demanding than a child probably.

See Also