Funny Team Names

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About

Many times during your life, you'll find yourself in a new team and suddenly asked to write down a team name. It could be a sports team, fitness group, trivia team, or even a team building exercise work is forcing you to do... the one consistent thing is that your group wants a kick-arse team name. A name like "The Tigers" may *sound* kind-of powerful, but the best names are almost always the funny and playful team names. "The Asthmatic Ninja Tigers with Altitude Fear" is longer, and yet more memorable - it paints a more vivid picture and gives you a shot at winning best team name. "Team Rainbow" is good, but with just one extra word "Team Rainbow Juice" is better. In a competition full of short plain names, don't be a afraid to take up a whole sentence and try something naughty and/or outside the box. Heck - you can even try making up a new word like "HyperSynergisticPenguiness" if you can't put together a real one.


So here you are, at your trivia night, and you know there's probably some kind of reward for the best (i.e. most hilarious) team name, but so far you're drawing blank. Nothing clever comes to mind. Even when you think "my brain must be on vacation right now" the semi-funny name "Brains on Vacation" hasn't occurred to you. The best people at coming up with team names are people that go to trivia every night and have remembered some of the best names, like "My other outfit is a onesie". Unfortunately, that's not you.


On this page I've scoured the internet for some of the funniest team names out there. With this list, you'll never again have to write down something uber lame like "We couldn't come up with anything" or "best team name ever" or "team Doug". Actually that last name is not so bad, but only because Doug is an awesome name. Use the funny team names below as ideas an inspiration to come up with something brilliant. The best names are, of course, topical to what you're doing and/or current events and/or who is in your team, so only copy it word for word if you have too.... you'll be more proud if you take these ideas, add in your situation, and whatever "in jokes" you have and make it golden.


Many of these are kind of tailored toward funny trivia team names, but I've tried to keep in mind people coming to this page will be after all kind of funny names team, so it should have something for everyone.


Enjoy!


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
Usually when I search the internet to make a list, like for Card messages, I find nothing but crap. Here, however, I found some great stuff online! I have stuff copied from all over the place, plus a few of my own and a couple from friends. It was a bit much to acknowledge each, but if you scroll to the bottom, I list some of the best website I found - most of which, of course, are compilations from other people. I'll never know who the original people were for any given name, but a big thank you to these people!
KEY:

  • I've used "***" to flag some of the best.
  • Names with "#" are my own, or at least used by a team I was in once, so am casually taking credit for.  ;)




Relative Safe Team Names

Let's start with the relatively safe, generic and mildly amusing team names then work our way up. Most of these names should be suitable for any type of team activity.

Safe As Houses

Even Nana should be fine with these.

  • Mixed bag of nuts
  • Southern discomfort
  • My other outfit is a onesie **
  • Sassy by summer
  • We can haz win .......... (inspired by lol cat)
  • Pirates cos we arrr
  • So how 'bout this weather #
  • Periodic farters
  • Holy underpants batman

Age Related

For people comfortable with age.

  • The fossils
  • The dinosaurs
  • Dirty old bastards
  • The old wise quackers
  • The rest of you, 20 years ago .......... (works if you're the youngest team; and add in "before you let yourself go", to really offend people)
  • 30 years from now, you'll look like us too

Alcohol Inspired

The best team activities have alcohol - why not acknowledge your support and addiction.

  • Drunkin donuts
  • Five o'clock somewhere
  • Smarty pints
  • Excessive consumption may have laxative effects
  • Tequila mockingbird
  • My drinking team has a trivia problem **
  • It's hammered-time
  • Alcoholism is the real winner

Food Inspired

Because we all love food and pie in the sky type humor.

  • Mmmm pie
  • The cereal killers
  • The cake is a lie
  • Fringe ninjas
  • Chicken MCThuggets **
  • My favorite color is bacon
  • Hot pockets .......... (best said singing to the jingle)

Movies/Songs/TV Inspired

Struggling for a team name - just pick your favorite movie quote. Bonus points if you have the energy and brainpower to modify it to be clever and/or topical to your activity.

  • Pulp friction
  • 60% of the time, we win every time #
  • I love lamp
  • That really got out of hand fast .......... (yes, I did just did three Anchorman quotes in a row!)
  • Wrong direction
  • That's not a knife .......... (or "Oh shit - that really was a knife!")
  • Take off your pants and jacket **
  • Flight of the Conchords

Internet Related

Ahhh the internet. You're already using it to see this list and/or cheating on answers, so why not salute mankinds new dependence on the web.

  • My only friends are Facebook friends
  • To access our team name you need a Google Plus account
  • We're binging all the answers tonight .......... (feel free to add "otherwise we'd be in the lead" to the end)
  • She Googles my Yahoo with her Facebook and makes me Twitter
  • Too busy tweeting to care #
  • Ceiling cat is watching you masturbate - how rude #
  • Is OK Cupid okay if no response .......... (inspired by the hilarious Google blackmail video alongside other search gems)
  • The internet: our number one source of boobies and kitties .......... (inspired by this video... sooo true)

Animals

Randomly name any animal, add one or two adjective and you're done. Don't believe me? "The Belligerent Crabs" did, and they turned out deliciousfully.

  • Attack of the retreating invisible koalas #
  • Industrial fuzz bunnies
  • Engaging maltipoos #

Ridiculous

Still struggling for a name idea - just randomly say words or a sentence. Any object in the room, your home, your car or the universe if fair game.

  • Powered by antler spray
  • Wacky waving inflatable flailing arm tube men
  • My toothpaste tastes like toilet water #
  • Bacon water is best water #

All-Girl Teams

Go girl power! I got all these from the interwebs, there were many others like "pink warriors" or "help us save second base", but many were for breast cancer teams, so look inappropriate out of context.

  • Girl power
  • Goal diggers
  • 50 shades of awesome
  • Team sweaty coconuts
  • Victorious secret

All-Guy Teams

You're looking around and all the other teams have girls... except yours. Time to come to terms and embrace the situation: without any chicks to impress you can embrace the "alcohol related" team names and get drunk in your underpants.

  • Sausage factory
  • Nothing but dicks
  • Bromance central #
  • The dude club #
  • Sweaty balls club #
  • Hairy backs anonymous #
  • We leave the lid up
  • Trouser snakes R us

Nationality Inspired

Someone foreign on your team? Making fun of them is not optional - it's your duty. I haven't covered all nationalities, but there isn't a country or state on earth without a stereotype you can't turn into a team name. Just make sure it's isn't a negative stereotype and consult with your team. Fried chicken might be out.

  • Canada: America's hat
  • America: best team name ever, if you don't agree you're a terrorist
  • Dingo ate our babies * .......... (add "but we still get child support #" if you want too) :)
  • We have thunder down under .......... (two Aussie jokes - guess what country I'm from)
  • New Zealand: the number one buyer of Velcro gloves # .......... (yes, it related to sheep, or "ride on lawn mowers" as they say in NZ)
  • The Dirty Frenchmen
  • Smelly homeless Europeans
  • Our table's a bigger sausage fest than Germany
  • Asian persuasion

Written Jokes

Run out of ideas. Any two sentence joke can be a team name. Below is just a couple, but try it with your own favorite joke. The lame jokes can actually be the best.

  • What's brown and sticky? A stick. .......... (or "poo")
  • What's brown and rhymes with snoop dog? Dr Dre.
  • Why did the koala fall out a tree? It died.
  • What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.



Team Names For Reading Aloud

For something like trivia, you can expect or at least hope your team name gets read aloud by the quizmaster/MC at some point. Most of the team names in this section play with that, and bring in a little interactivity.

Ribbing the MC

A good MC should be able to handle hecklers and abuse, so why poke some fun and test him a little with words he'll might be embarrassed to say.

  • Sorry to change the subject, but I have a drinking problem #
  • I wish this microphone was a penis .......... (hilarious)
  • Does our MC seem a little gay tonight
  • My name is Rod, and I like to party
  • My name is Brad and I will screw for work visa .......... (insert name of mc/quizmaster)
  • Bethany says the MC is hot, is that true? #
  • Oh yeah, baby, like that, oooooo god, yes, yes, yes, and I'm done
  • Hey guys, I'm looking for Amanda Hugginkiss? .......... (inspired by "prank call names", such as those by Bart Simpson)

Challenging the QuizMaster

Test your QuizMasters speech skills with these.

  • And in first place with a million points
  • The wiener is...
  • 69 points... hehehe
  • Why doez zee quiz-master mock Doich-land
  • Red leather yellow leather, red leather yellow leather .......... (tongue twister - any will do)
  • Quiz man, we will give you $5 if we win best name #
  • The quizmaster doesn't like the word vagina

Foreign Language

I have never actually seen this, but it occurred to me that if you have a mix of foreign speakers spread about you can cause a commotion by writing in that language. The guy who reads it will have no idea if it's rude or not, and that's the beauty. Hopefully a few people around the room will be able to translate (or look it up) for their team.  :)

  • Baila para mí mono .......... ("Dance for me monkey" - in Spanish)
  • Se deshace Mi mosca .......... ("My fly is undone" - in French)
  • Ich blase Ziegen .......... ("I blow goats" - in German - cheers Wayne's World)

Jabs at the Establishment

It won't get you free drinks, but it will earn a laugh.

  • Next week we are taking our business to a fine drinking establishment down oxley street because it has better questions, drink specials and it doesn't smell of spoilt food
  • Don't order the burger, this is not mayonnaise #
  • The sticky stuff under the table is bubblegum right?

Jabs at your Own Team / Team Member

Everyone loves a little self-deprecation - what is it about your team you can make fun of.

  • My trivia team mate doesn't know this is a date **
  • Eve's posse # .......... (insert name of a girl in your team - sounds like you-know-what)
  • Nobody look, but someone on our team is constipated today... make your own guesses #
  • My team sucks, we're probably going to lose, but I'm pretending to enjoy myself
  • When you're this f**ked, the team name doesn't matter
  • The prudish girl, forever-student, the lawyer wannabe and glorified secretary .......... (describe your team)
  • Not gonna lie, we're pretty drunk.... and everyone is looking pretty good right now.
  • A bunch of idiots who yell whenever they get mentioned # .......... (this is your cue to yell)
  • Can I have a woo woo? # .......... (yell out "woo woo" like a train noise)

Communicating with other Teams

These are mostly appropriate for bar/trivia nights, but you could probably adapt for other situations too

  • The four girls across from the shot wheel are dirty bitches
  • Our fake girlfriend died today, any girls out there single? #
  • For a good time call 858-525-3525 # .......... (give the number of someone on your team and expect it to get called)
  • It's Alex's 25th birthday, please everyone buy him a drink
  • Jeff got dumped today. someone give him a kiss to cheer him up #
  • Seriously, who in this room farted? #
  • Shout now if you love Utah..... that's what I thought
  • Does anyone know if the bartender is single? He's okay looking.... I guess. #



Inappropriate Team Names

Some of the above jokes were a *little* rude, but let's be honest - you're excited about the really naughty ones!

Bit Rude

For the non-drinking crowd.

  • Crack-smoking monkeys
  • Pavement princesses
  • We all have daddy issues
  • Fat married people .......... ("lazy" or "sad" works too if you prefer)
  • Morning wood
  • Ask me how I made $40 today
  • No glove, no love
  • Spank me Elmo # .......... (randomly inspired by a beautiful Ukrainian girl.... "smachnogo" )

Dirty

Warning: The internet is full of dirty team names (some too dirty for me to repeat), so don't say I didn't warn you!

  • My couch pulls out but I don't
  • Make up sex... totalllly worth fighting for
  • You know you wanna hit this
  • Treasured chests
  • Four play
  • Chafing the dream
  • Test icicles ***
  • We like it dirty
  • Dirty girls and filthy boy
  • The gentleman's throbbing chomper
  • Love sponge: use your imagination
  • Rattlesnakes and condoms: 2 things I don't f**k with
  • Raped by dolphins
  • Nine inch males
  • Win or lose, your probably masturbating alone tonight #
  • Twerkers and jerkers .......... (a good friend suggested this as co-ed team name :) )
  • Slap my monkey you nauhty old man
  • Lesbian barbie comes in her own box
  • Please stop the bus, I need to let my brother jack off **
  • Save a tree, eat a beaver
  • It's only gay if you push back
  • It's not gay if you high five at the end .......... (and are many variations on the "it's not gay if" jokes)
  • It's not cheating if it's a threesome .......... (yup, are many "it's not cheating if" jokes too)
  • Phil ate me .......... (say it aloud)
  • If you seek Amy .......... (like the Britney song)
  • Clitty clitty gang bang
  • Are you fisting me? .......... (if this doesn't make the MC stutter, nothing will)
  • No means yes, yes means anal .......... (except maybe this)
  • White, wet, on your face, and in your eyes... it's snow you guys!
  • Gag a little bit to make me feel big
  • Sometimes I jerk off in the bathroom, sometimes
  • The world's most conservative bar sluts
  • Married gay people don't get any either
  • Liquor? but I don't even know 'er **
  • Came for the orgy, stayed for the trivia .......... (actually kind of clever - it implies there was an orgy)
  • At least your mom finished school # .......... (you can do hundreds of "your mum" team names, I decided to include just one tame one)
  • Your mother's no thief, but you should see her snatch .......... (oh - this one's not mine!)
  • One chick and four dicks .......... (adjust for your team, or do the "one rack, four sacks" variation)
  • No butt stuff **

Politically Incorrect

Don't pretend these don't make you smile. Politically incorrect team names are the funniest - especially if it's about something recent.

  • Stephen Hawking's football boots **
  • Russel Crow's tempter
  • About as untouched as Madonna #
  • Fat kids are hard to kidnap
  • The Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller tennis match
  • Justin Bieber is our pot dealer
  • Confession bear: we actually like Justin Bieber #
  • It's okay, Barbara Streisand endorsed us #
  • I'm gonna drive to your house and beat you like the whore that you are. love, Mel Gibson
  • That baby don't look like me
  • I want my baby black... so I don't have to pay for it
  • Rock me sexy Jesus
  • Jesus is coming, get him a towel ***
  • You know who else doesn't trivia Monday?... Communists
  • The kids R. Kelly peed on
  • We're going to beat you like we were Chris Brown
  • The best thing about necrophilia is you don't have to bring flowers
  • Margaret Thatcher...I still would
  • I don't do cocaine, I just like the way it smells
  • World's tallest midgets
  • Show me on the doll where he touched you **
  • Beaten like a red-headed step child
  • Government slutdown
  • There's a little lesbian in all of us #



Specific Team Names

Here are some team names which could only really work for the activity they are described for. It's a pity I didn't finish with the last section - if you don't like sport this last section is pretty boring.

Trivia / Quiz Team Inspired

Yay trivia nights!

  • Obviously not smarter than a fifth grader ***
  • Big fact hunt
  • Quiz all over your face
  • Quizlamic extremists **
  • Quizzly bears
  • I'm too trivia to drunk
  • Trivia Newton John
  • Ask more questions about Cher
  • We should have paid more attention in college
  • I love coming to trivia.... and that's why I bring spare pants # .......... (one of my proudest) :)
  • Oops I quizzed in my pants .......... (best sang to Britney song) :)
  • Gin and topics
  • Trvia: reminiscing about the times you weren't alive
  • The master-debaters #

Fitness Team Names

I've never been on any fitness team, but if I was I'd chose a name like this.

  • Mission slimpossible
  • The pain train
  • Agony of de feet
  • Call me a cab
  • And on the 8th day, god created yoga pants .......... (thanks for this one Katie!)
  • Mind over mudder .......... (or "how I met you mudder" is another)

Sports Teams

People have written down team name lists for just about everything! Soccer, tennis, broomball, rowing, basketball, volleyball - you name it there are names on the web... but since there are so many sports I decided to just take a few. If you have a specific sport in mind try one of the links down the bottom.

  • The bowling stones
  • Regular bowl movements
  • What a racquet
  • Man-chest-hair united **

Work Teams

Is this a work team building exercise? You poor thing. Choose a name which lets the boss know that you object, without being too obvious about it. Or maybe you're the guy who is actually enjoying it all - probably keep that to yourself for a while and don't seem too happy.

  • Smells like team spirit
  • Staff infection
  • Business as unusual
  • Quality control
  • Synergy slayers
  • TPS reporters #
  • Team ass-kissers: because we have the best boss in the world #

Nerdy Teams

Is your team activity a chess, maths or science competition? Or maybe it's not a nerdy event, but your whole time happens to be scientists or wannabe nerds. Time to bring out the big electron guns, and come up with a suitably nerdy name. Maths symbols in the name are options, but make sure it delivers with a big bang, or at least a long groan.

  • Natural selection
  • Geology rocks
  • Nothing cooler than absolute zero
  • Everyday I'm calculatin'
  • Full Marx




Making Your Own Team Name

Copying one of the above is fine, but if you want to be extra proud of taking out best name, use this list as inspiration and dream up your own. To come up with such names, here are four parting tips.

Don't be afraid to:

  1. Make it long (helps you stand out) "Alabama: because over there it's fine to meet your wife on ancestry.com"
  2. Poke fun of people (your team, nationality, those in charge, other teams... whatever) "My toupee is also French"
  3. Add colorful adjectives (especially with animal names) "The juxtaposition unicorns"
  4. Be naughty (suggestive names are the most memorable) "Yes, we f**k on the first date"

Go get creative!  :)




Conclusion

Hope you've enjoyed this list!

I kind of finished on a low point - with the nerdy ones, but some of the names I found on the internet were so good I laughed to the point of crying when I read them. Some were actually too rude to copy here, but in the list of links below you might dig up some gems I either missed or decided were a little too much for this page.

Have a great team activity with your awesome team name.... oh, and don't hesitate to email me other great names!

Sincerely,

    Andrew Noske andrew.noskeATSIGNgmail.com



PS: One day I may return to this page and address the face I've completely skipped team names for board game and computer game teams. My apologies/sympathy if you are one of these nerds. Just call yourselves "A server error" and get back to your starcraft and dungeons and dragons game.  :)


See Also

  • Card messages - Some funny things you can write into cards. Lots of the "leaving work" ones I came up with myself, and I'm pretty proud of. The rest are crap of course.


Links