Relationship anarchy

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Relationship anarchy (RA) is the application of anarchist (anti-hierarchical) principles to intimate relationships. Its values include autonomy, anti-normativity, radical transparency, flexible aggreement and it is commonly, but not always, non-monogamous.

The "relationship anarchy smorgasboard" - print it out (full res) and share with a beloved to start conversation about what is important in your specific relationship at this moment in time (knowing that will might change over time).

Relationship Anarchy Manifesto

The RA social movement that was started by Andie Nordgren in 2006 with her “[Relationship Anarchy Manifesto]”. Here is the excerpt from the top of this menifesto:

Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique
Love and respect instead of entitlement
Find your core set of relationship values
Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you
Build for the lovely unexpected
Fake it til’ you make it
Trust is better
Change through communication
Customize your commitments

Key Concepts for Relationship Anarchy

Mostly summarized from this article.

  • Radical Transparency - To make an authentic and informed decision about a relationship/agreement, they need transparency. This is not about over-sharing and loose boundaries, but letting a partner know what is true for you in the moment.
  • Flexible Agreements - People grow and change often throughout their lives, so and with changing personalities comes changes in relationship dynamics. Loving-kindness and flexible aggreements are held over rigid expectations.
  • All Relationships are Unique Unto Themselves - An acknowledging that all relationships are unique, should be celbrated, and should not be compared in value and should not be compared in value.
  • Start from Within - Regardless of your relationship preferences mono/poly/etc, the most important relationship is with yourself.

See Also


Acknowledgements: The fabulous Eric Severson for showing me a picture of the "smorgasboard". I really would love to try this in my next relationship, regardless of what style it takes. Anything interesting I find I will add to this article.