- 1 About
- 2 Creative Messages
- 3 Upfront Messages
- 4 More Great Questions To Ask
- 5 Coffee Meets Bagel Messages
- 6 Ok Cupid Messages
- 7 Part Ways Messages
- 8 Related Pages
Sometimes I'll put effort or creativity into my contact messages... I thought it was a shame to lose these, so here are some I've recorded. I think I'll keep this page private for now... maybe at some stage it might be a fun and random read for people.
Really this is for me, but maybe I'll share it with the odd person just to drill home the point that it pays to be creative and unique in these messages in order to be be noticed in a huge list of people that contact a girl and get an improved chance (from 1 in 100 to 1 in 10) of getting a reply!
Top 10 Cupid list
Ask a girl for her top 10 cupid wish list... here's mine:
Top 10 Cupid wish list:
1. Love so deep that I smile every-time I see them.
2. Embrace so magical, that it's hard to ever let them go.
3. Authenticity so solid we can grow together.
4. Open minded to new possibilities in spirituality and sex.
5. Inspires me to be better.
6. Contagious laugh, from deep in the belly.
7. Passion flowing from her pores.
8. Lust so intense we stare at each other with a "I want you now" look.
9. Dances in shopping centers with me.
10. Intelligence and kindness that inspires me to be a better person.
Right now wishlist:
1. Understands that I wont' stay in the bay forever, so I'm not actively seeking anything serious... although I could be pleasantly surprised along the way and change my mind.
2. Deep honest conversation about the type of stuff people usually conceal while dating - our insecurities, flaws, fantasies, everything.
3. Open minded and open to receiving, like a full body massage, or me lifting her high into the air during dancing or a moment of passion.
4. An attraction strong enough that we tear off each other's clothes at some point during conversation.
5. An appreciation that often spontaneous moments are the ones we remember forever, and neither of us jealous if the other is going on other dates - because this is an area know for transients and flakiness, but each time you meet someone a little special you get inspired. :)
Bouncing Through Clouds
POF username was "stuckinclouds", nanny and photography:
Why are you stuck in the clouds Miss Pharmacy ? :)
I'm going to call you out here. I feel like you are the type of girl who is a dreamer, but who is, in fact, not "stuck".... rather you are a free spirited woman who chooses to travel via the fluffy white pillows in the sky. You bound effortlessly from cloud to cloud, and at times you close your eyes and simply fly, pausing only to stare down on the happy tiny people below in their plastic toy story villages. You blow kisses down on their villages. They appear to you, as happy figures of Plasticine.
As you travel the vast universe, interconnected by a giant fabric of cosmic dust, you float down to the ground of life-filled worlds to capture precious moments in time where the Plasticine world become real with a greater spectrum of colors.... sometimes bright and sometimes dark. You capture these moments with with your magic pin hole memory box.... the sun peering through the trees, a child playing in the water, the silhouette of a dying tree at dusk. It's in these moments the people of earth might glimpse a beautiful surreal angel..... because in these moments, you appear to them not as a figure from real life, but as the porcelain Chinese doll from the clouds.
Creative Problem Solving - My Female Prison Example
You're in a woman's prison full of female prisoners..... and puppies. Sadly the puppies are mean to you. You need to escape - you obsess over it. Your best friend is a table, that has three legs, and sits facing and older lady who carries a saxophone with one string. Beyond that is a round window, high up on the wall. The guards are psychology majors and colorblind mimes. The halls are padded with marshmallows and the prison field is a Japanese tea garden where they serve unicorn water. How do you escape?
Not Much Text Profile - Cake Challenge
I just came across your profile. I think you're photos are great, but your profile seems a bit empty! It occurred to me that maybe you're not good at talking about yourself, and so maybe I have a challenge for you.
I noticed you like cake, so my challenge is for you to ask yourself: if I was a cake, what type of cake would I be. Based on your answer I think I can figure out what type of person you are.... but obviously the more detail you give into this cake, the better my answer will be. :)
Trust me I'm a doctor! :-P
Love or Lust
Love or lust?
Too Far Away - Practice Making Babies
Hi there XXXXX, you are stunning! My favorite photo of your is YYYYY. But enough about your cuteness, I'm actually mad at you.... how are we supposed to practice making babies if you live ZZZZZ miles away! :)
One of the wonderful things about women who are mothers, is they are more grounded. They don't have time for the usual games, so they appreciate directness. And honestly, I'm not particularly likely to get into a serious relationship with a mum. It's not because I don't love kids. I love kids, but when a woman becomes a mother, well her children become the center of her universe and in some selfish way I want to be the center of the universe for at least a while! That said, I'm attracted to anyone who appreciates honesty, and I think you are stunning, so maybe, if I'm lucky, we an have fun together. :)
More Great Questions To Ask
- Which fictional character can you relate most with and why?
- Which family member are you the closest to?
- What is the best present you ever gave to someone? What is the best present you have received?
Coffee Meets Bagel Messages
Coffee meets bagel (CMB) is nice enough to start you off with a suggestion when you "connect" (you both hit like) with your daily potential match. Some of their suggestions include:
- Ask if she prefers froyo or ice cream.
- Ask her favorite vacarion if all time.
- Ask the place she'd most like to live in the whole world.
... And are since others but I like to take it and add a little more zest, so that the girl can see you didn't just copy the suggestion. Example:
- Which do you prefer: froyo, ice-cream.... Or to own a small monkey called Simon who is a great companion, delights dinner guests with his intelligence and wit.... *but* he throws away all your ice cream and froyo, and he talks during Alfred Hitchcock movies.
Ok Cupid Messages
Okcupid Low Enemies Score
One fun thing about okcupid it that, based on the questions you've answered, it will give every person a match score', friend score and enemies score. Generally you want the first two to be high and enemy score to be low, but I don't take the score too seriously and he's a fun way to play with the enemies score.
Hey I just noticed we're a good match. I really like your profile too. I did, however, notice our 2% enemy score. What's with that?! I think that's really low and maybe we should work on it. Maybe if I stole your coffee we could bring that up to a respectable 5% enemies. :-P
Okcupid Scores Explained
I'm a scientists turned software engineer and since you showed interest I thought I could shed some light on the process used to match people. Some people will use fancy words like "machine learning", but actually most sites prefer to use the tried and true, age tested process of comparing your answers to the questions, then multiplying that by your height difference in inches, dividing that by your claimed income, subtract the number of children you have - accounting for the idea that the average person has 0.3 less children then they claim - and then finally throwing that number over the horizon strapped to a Frisbee in favor of monkey rolling a dice.
Now you know the terrible secret of online dating and I feel like we just went from 9% enemies to 10% enemies. And yet maybe after revealing this terrible truth about online dating sites you'll crave more information on this and other dating related conspiracies. :-P
Actually, what is kind of scary is that I've written my own, *serious* article on online dating. I'll send the link if you want!
Part Ways Messages
I don't know if this is just California, where everyone has a tonne of options, but I've noticed girls on online dating are VERY flaky. I've heard many stories now about girls not showing up, and in my own experience I've had many times when the girl will just stop contact with no explanation. For me.... all I want to hear is a "no chemistry sorry" and that's totally fine - I could have been thinking the same thing. What I don't want is to be that "creepy guy" who sends 10 unanswered messages hoping to get a basic explanation back. So here's my best attempt to get some little answer for some nice little closure. Not really sure if it works, but a female friend of mine helped me with it and suggests that it's your best shot to get just that little closure with a flaky date!
Haven't heard back for a while, so my guess is that you just don't think there is chemistry... and you know what.... that's totally cool - it happens! If that's the case I'm still hoping you'd maybe you'd send a quickly little text / feedback for dating karma points, to let me know you're doing well and best of luck! Needless to say I think you're really great! :)
Hi XXX, haven't heard from you in a while so just wanted to check on you. Totally cool if you felt we are not compatible, just let me know. I am one of those people who likes closure :-)