Jokes - yoga
About
So hypothetically you meet an amazing girl and she happens to be a yoga instructor. You say you're going to tell her a funny yoga joke every day, but you look online and they're mostly rubbish! Feel like half of them do the: "are you going?" and "na-ma-going-to-stay" routine. Which is only half funny once.
So here I've made up some of my and hopefully slightly improved on the few that made me giggle a little. :)
Yoga Jokes
Three Yogis Go to Heaven
--- Yoga joke of the day #1 ---
Three yogis arrive at heaven in a single batch. God is a the Pearly gates, splits them up and says to the first: "look, we just have too many fancy yoga people in heaven these days, I can only let you in if I feel sorry for you".
The first guy says, "Well I think you should feel sorry for me!".
"I was at a yoga retreat with my wife, but I felt like she was staring a little too much at the yoga instructor in his tight pants and his toned body. I convinced myself I was just paranoid, so for my inner peace and closure I went to visit the yoga instructor in his room and I walk inside but he wasn't there. When I get downstairs, I hear loud grunting sex noises inside, and I go into a rage. The door is locked... I start kicking down the door and when I bust in I yell at my wife 'where is he!'. I look everywhere and nothing but then I noticed there are ten fingers on the railing of the balcony outside. It's him! He's trying to hide from me and I'm so angry that I start hitting his fingers. He pleads me to stop, but I keep going and he falls down. He's hurt, but definitely not dead... so in my growing rage I grab a heavy mini fridge from inside, and throw it down onto him. Unfortunately at this point the rage is so much I have a heart attack and die on the spot."
God looks stunned, "Well I generally don't condone murder, I'm surprised you admitted to that so readily, but I do feel sorry for you, so I'll let you in".
Then god goes to the second guy.
The second guy says, "You'll definitely feel sorry for me!".
"I had just finished a yoga course, to help out all the wonderful people who come for my guidance. I drink a wonderful health smoothie, and I start doing yoga on the balcony of my hotel room. Suddenly, when I go from warrior one pose to warrior two, I slip on my smoothie, and fall right off the edge. Luckily I have great reflexes, so I catch the railing of the room downstairs, but some crazy guy starts yelling at me. He hits my fingers, and I fall... just as I realize my beautifully toned legs are broken, the guy throws a mini fridge onto me and I'm now here.
God is almost speechless, "We generally don't like yoga instructors, but you had the worst day ever, so you can go inside".
Finally the third guy comes up. "So funny story. I was folded up lotus position and hiding in a mini-fridge.... and suddenly the fridge start to move".
