Funny Team Names

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I turned this article into a book on Amazon. My second published book, and it inspired me to write up my page on Publishing. Please buy a copy! The book is built on tis article, but has many more team names, plus a lot of advice on how to create your own name. Who would appreciate this as a birthday gift? Your crazy uncle. Get him a copy!

Click here to see on Amazon

Funny Team Names: The Comprehensive Guide to Winning Best Team Name and Being Memorable In Your Pointless Team Event or Alcoholic Trivia Club

Length: ................... 65 pages
Amazon URL: ......... Amazon Paperback + Kindle Version
Book Website: ........ this page!
Publication date: .... May 28, 2021
Amazon description:

Wouldn’t it be nice, to just once, win the funniest team name prize at trivia? This book is a comprehensive list of 800 funny team names - everything from “Southern Discomfort”, to “Fat Married People”, “Industrial Fuzz Bunnies”, “Unsolicited penis photos”, “Your Local Prostitutes”, “Eric’s little swimmers” and then the names too rude to put on the back cover. Yeah that gets you wondering.

This book covers everything from sports teams, to fitness groups, social clubs, planning committees, game nights, trivia teams, book-reading clubs or even that team building exercise that your boss is forcing you to do.

Yet this book is more than just a list of laugh-out-loud inappropriate group names. It also trains you to always be kick ass at naming a team. To learn the techniques to create something unique and funny. Even if you suck at the game, you’ll be memorable and make all your lousy team-mates smile, and that’s the next best thing to winning.


Many times during your life, you'll find yourself in a new team and suddenly asked to write down a team name. It could be a sports team, fitness group, trivia team, or even a team building exercise work is forcing you to do... the one consistent thing is that your group wants a kick-arse team name. A name like "The Tigers" may *sound* kind-of powerful, but the best names are almost always the funny and playful team names. "The Asthmatic Ninja Tigers with Altitude Fear" is longer, and yet more memorable - it paints a more vivid picture and gives you a shot at winning best team name. "Team Rainbow" is good, but with just one extra word "Team Rainbow Juice" is better. In a competition full of short plain names, don't be a afraid to take up a whole sentence and try something naughty and/or outside the box. Heck - you can even try making up a new word like "HyperSynergisticPenguiness" if you can't put together a real one.

So here you are, at your trivia night, and you know there's probably some kind of reward for the best (i.e. most hilarious) team name, but so far you're drawing blank. Nothing clever comes to mind. Even when you think "my brain must be on vacation right now" the semi-funny name "Brains on Vacation" hasn't occurred to you. The best people at coming up with team names are people that go to trivia every night and have remembered some of the best names, like "My other outfit is a onesie". Unfortunately, that's not you.

On this page I've scoured the internet for some of the funniest team names out there. With this list, you'll never again have to write down something uber lame like "We couldn't come up with anything" or "best team name ever" or "team Doug". Actually that last name is not so bad, but only because Doug is an awesome name. Use the funny team names below as ideas an inspiration to come up with something brilliant. The best names are, of course, topical to what you're doing and/or current events and/or who is in your team, so only copy it word for word if you have too.... you'll be more proud if you take these ideas, add in your situation, and whatever "in jokes" you have and make it golden.

Many of these are kind of tailored toward funny trivia team names, but I've tried to keep in mind people coming to this page may be wanting to name all different kinds of team/clubs/groups/committees/societies/factions/cults/etc, so it should have something for everyone.


Usually when I search the internet to make a list, like for Card messages, I find nothing but crap. Here, however, I found some great stuff online! I have stuff copied from all over the place, plus a few of my own and a couple from friends. It was a bit much to acknowledge each, but if you scroll to the bottom, I list some of the best website I found - most of which, of course, are compilations from other people. I'll never know who the original people were for any given name, but a big thank you to these people!

  • I've used "***" to flag some of the best.
  • Names with "#" are my own, or at least used by a team I was in once, so am casually taking credit for. ;)

Relatively Safe Team Names

Let's start with the relatively safe, generic and mildly amusing team names then work our way up. Most of these names should be suitable for any type of team activity.

Safe As Houses

Even Nana should be fine with these.

  • Mixed bag of nuts
  • Southern discomfort
  • My other outfit is a onesie **
  • Sassy by summer
  • We can haz win .......... (inspired by lol cat)
  • Pirates cos we arrr
  • So how 'bout this weather #
  • Periodic farters
  • Holy underpants batman
  • Great name pending
  • Colony of weirdos
  • The "B" squad
  • Losing gracefully
  • Eggs in one basket
  • New year, same low IQ

Age Related

For people comfortable with age.

  • The fossils
  • The dinosaurs
  • Dirty old bastards
  • The old wise quackers
  • The rest of you, 20 years ago .......... (works if you're the youngest team; and add in "before you let yourself go", to really offend people)
  • 30 years from now, you'll look like us too
  • Quarter-life crisis
  • Teenage angst
  • Old kids on the block
  • Midwife crisis
  • Perpetually disappointed parents
  • Family feuds
  • The future of this planet .......... (for a young team)
  • Kids these days .......... (am I right)
  • Running on metal hips, prescription drugs and the hope that our kids might finally call one day

Alcohol Inspired

The best team activities have alcohol - why not acknowledge your support and addiction.

  • Alcoholics unanimous
  • Beer pressure
  • Blood sweat and beers
  • Drunkin donuts
  • Five o'clock somewhere
  • Smarty pints
  • Excessive consumption may have laxative effects
  • My drinking team has a trivia problem **
  • It's hammered-time
  • Alcoholism is the real winner
  • Rehab is for quitters
  • In dog beers, I've had just one
  • Let's ask whiskeypedia
  • The professional double fisters .......... (and we love that double fisting sounds very rude outside of the US)
  • The smartinis
  • Rum, Forrest, rum
  • Drinkers not thinkers
  • Drinking games suppress our deep emotional issues
  • Cheers to that, am I right?
  • Tequila mockingbird
  • Whiskey business .......... (yes, like the movie)
  • The three must-get-beers
  • We are not losing sober
  • Abusement park
  • Bottoms up
  • Win or booze, we always have fun
  • Periodic table dancers .......... (because you might have to be drunk to do this)

Drug Inspired

For those who are a little be more hardcore than a little nightcap drink.

  • Generic:
    • No refills
    • Placebo effects
    • Team tablets. Yup, we're selling
    • Prescription posse
    • The druggy table
    • Maximum dosage
    • Long-term side effects
    • Laxative effects
    • Do drugs kids
  • Famous quotes:
    • Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs .......... (quote from Robin Williams)
    • I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police .......... (quote from Keith Richards)
    • When God drops acid, does he see people?
  • Doctor prescribed:
    • Mighty morphine power rangers (or "flower arrangers")
    • Xanax and the compounders
  • Weed:
    • Joint effort.... gets you higher in life
    • High rollers
    • Great buds
    • Shake and bake baby
    • Higher education
    • Great at weeding
    • A friend with weed
    • Stoners unanimously
    • High AF right now
    • We love Bong Jovi
    • Nugs of knowledge
    • The munchies
    • Hit me with your best pot
    • The marijuana munchers
    • Life is like a box of marijuana... I'm sorry, what was the question again?
  • Performance enhancers:
    • Viagra falls
    • Vikings on viagra
    • Grandpa's viagra
    • Viagra: keeps you from rolling out of bed
  • Cocaine:
    • I don't do cocaine, I just like the way it smells
    • Cocaine: The evil version of coffee
    • Cocaine is just God's way of saying you have too much money
  • Meth:
    • Meth babies
    • We totally methed up in the speed round
    • Meth addicts, as sponsored by the tooth fairy
    • Meth 4 dinner

Food Inspired

Because we all love food and pie in the sky type humor.

  • Types of food
    • Mmmm pie
    • The cereal killers
    • The cake is a lie
    • Fridge ninjas
    • Chicken McThuggets **
    • My favorite color is bacon
    • Nacho average team
    • Wanna taco about it?
    • Hot pockets .......... (best said singing to the jingle)
    • Costco samples for the win
    • Better than Ice Cream and Sex .......... (reference to my first book)
    • Just the vanilla

Movies and TV Inspired

Struggling for a team name - just pick your favorite movie quote. Bonus points if you have the energy and brainpower to modify it to be clever and/or topical to your activity.

  • Classic Movies:
    • Pulp friction
    • 60% of the time, we win every time #
    • I love lamp
    • Wow that escalated quickly
    • That really got out of hand fast .......... (yes, I did just did four Anchorman quotes in a row!)
    • That's not a knife .......... (or "Oh shit - that really was a knife!")
    • You can't sit here
    • One time at band camp .......... (is how our parents met)
    • The first rule of fight club .......... (Fight club obviously)
    • Saving Ryan's privates
    • Handsfree lightsabres .......... (Star wars)
    • Cuter than a baby yoda .......... (Star wars)
    • Come to the dark side. We have cookies .......... (Star wars)
    • Who wants a moustache ride .......... (Super troopers)
    • I am iron.... deficient. Ironman blows .......... (Ironman)
    • Bruce Willis was dead the whole time .......... (The Sixth Sense)
    • Clueless .......... (from the movie... Clueless. Duh)
    • Forrest dump .......... (Or "Forrest hump" works too)
    • Meme girls .......... (Mean Girls obviously)
    • I'll have what she's having .......... (When Harry Met Sally)

  • TV:
    • The team who must not be named .......... (The Office)
    • The party planning committee .......... (The Office)
    • We know nothing John Snow .......... (Game of Throws.. I mean Thrones)
    • We were on a break! .......... (Friends)
    • The noisy girls upstairs .......... (Friends)
    • Smelly cats .......... (Friends - the song)
    • Chocolate salty balls .......... (South Park)
    • What, what in the butt .......... (South Park)
    • You had me at meat tornado .......... (Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation)
    • Furious George .......... (from Curious George)
    • It's not just a team, it's a lifestyle
    • Hi-dilly-ho, neighborinos! .......... (Simpsons)
    • Eat my shorts .......... (Simpsons, old old reference)
    • Kill all humans .......... (Futurama)
    • All hail hypno-toad .......... (Futurama)
    • Death by snoo snoo .......... (Futurama)

  • Disney and friends:
    • Kiss my Snow White ass
    • Let me Buzz your Woody tonight
    • Buzzed on light Beer
    • Little John's lil' john
    • The emperor's brew crew
    • Aladdin's glory hole
    • Walt Disney's frozen head

Song Inspired

Do you have a favorite song stuck in your head? Maybe you can take the lyrics and add a clever spin. Lyrics as a team name can be especially fun, because you'll want to actually sing your team name!

  • Lyrics to sing
    • Who let the moms out? .......... (from "Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baha Men)
    • I just met you, but call me maybe .......... (or "but let's make a baby")
    • I get knocked down .......... (sing "but I get up again")
    • Head, shoulders, knees and toes .......... (wow, what are you... nine?)
    • My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard .......... ("Milkshake" by Kelis)
  • Generic
    • One-hit wonders .......... (or "wonderfuls")
    • We know Justin Bieber
    • The B sharps

  • Song Names / Band Names / Album Names
    • Wrong direction
    • Flight of the concords
    • Dave Matthew's Hand .......... (Dave Matthew's Band)
    • Cockwork by Coldgay .......... (song by "Coldplay')
    • Florence and the Sex Machine .......... ("Florence and the Machine')
    • Take off your pants and jacket ** .......... (the 2001 Blink-182 album)

Internet Related

Ahhh the internet. You're already using it to see this list and/or cheating on answers, so why not salute mankind's new dependence on the web.

  • My only friends are Facebook friends
  • To access our team name you need a Google Plus account
  • We're Binging all the answers tonight .......... (feel free to add "otherwise we'd be in the lead" to the end)
  • She Googles my Yahoo with her Facebook and makes me Twitter
  • Too busy tweeting to care #
  • Ceiling cat is watching you masturbate - how rude #
  • Is OK Cupid okay if no response .......... (inspired by the hilarious Google blackmail video alongside other search gems)
  • The internet: our number one source of boobies and kitties .......... (inspired by this video... sooo true)
  • Identity theft is not a joke .......... (unless it happens to your boss)
  • We met on craigslist .......... (and nobody got murdered yet)
  • Instagram stole my soul #
  • 50% of the time I can identify all the pictures of dogs
  • Humpty dumpty's firewall
  • Today I learned about animal mating rituals
  • Angry social media ranters
  • TikTok famous, so kind-of a big deal

Porn Inspired

Because the internet is still mostly for porn. Especially during a pandemic.

  • Find us on OnlyFans #
  • If you love Porn Hub, you're gonna love Catholic Church Casting Couch
  • Barely legal
  • Chicken wings and porn: so our hands are always sticky
  • Porn again Christians

Online Dating Inspired

Because swiping on Tinder is a real addiction.

  • Jason's tinder profile is eggplant emogi
  • Adam got banned from Tinder, so he's gonna die alone now
  • Come to our table to see our Bumble profiles
  • Unsolicited penis photos
  • Too busy swiping to notice
  • Guess which one of us has the sluttiest dating profile
  • The Tinder date progression: tremendous, stupendous, hazardous, horrendous
  • My dad has more matches on Tinder than me
  • Please stop sending dick picks Brett

Pandemic Inspired

Because we can't forget about COVID

  • Corona virus: find your beach
  • Covid cuties
  • Covid made us realize we're terrible parents, which is why we're here
  • What goes well with coronavirus? Limes disease
  • Banned on zoom for not wearing pants
  • Playin through the plexiglass
  • Settlers of wuhan
  • I saw you across the bar.. stay there
  • I still like corona
  • We only date men who are 6 feet or more.. away
  • Working from home gives me more time to organize sex parties. Wohoo!
  • 20/20 hindsight
  • If 2020 was a blow job, it had braces.
  • Herd immunity
  • 6 feet away from 1st place

Animal Inspired

Randomly name any animal, add one or two adjective and you're done. Don't believe me? "The Belligerent Crabs" did, and they turned out deliciousfully.

  • Ridiculous adjectives
    • Attack of the retreating invisible koalas #
    • Industrial fuzz bunnies #
    • Socially awkward turtles
    • Unicorn butt fluff #
    • Wombat huggers anonymous #
    • The sausage sizzling bibly
    • Budgie smugglers are us
    • Engaged to a horse #
    • Existential maltipoo #
    • Brutal caterpillar stampede factory
    • Sherbet flavored unicorn meat #
  • Animal sentences
    • No eye dears
    • Flying pigs
    • Fire breathing kittens
    • Over-koalified bears #
    • Koalas with chlamydia
    • A drunk chinchilla killed my cat #
    • A bingo took my baby-back ribs #
    • Free-range chickens
    • F**king radioactive fireflies #
    • A clumsy obese turtle with no friends
    • The speedy sloths
    • Molested by manta rays
    • Fish sandwich
    • Vegan-friendly ferret juice
    • Invertebrates have better sex
    • Space hampsters
  • Real animals
    • Screaming hairy armadillo ... (yes a real animal, as is the pink fairy armadillo)
    • We still love you blobfish ... (also a real animal)
    • We love African dik-diks ... (also a real animal)
    • Satanic leaf-tailed gecko ... (the stuff of nightmares, especially for insects)
    • Tasseled Wobbegong ... (bet you are wikipedia now, these are all real)
    • Sparklemuffin spiders ... (they dance almost as gracefully as the peacock spider)


Still struggling for a name idea - just randomly say words or a sentence. Any object in the room, in your home, in your car or in the universe if fair game.

  • Powered by antler spray
  • Wacky waving inflatable flailing arm tube men
  • My toothpaste tastes like toilet water #
  • Bacon water is best water #
  • Slaughter bot poltergeists
  • Tranquil flesh poets
  • Mostly gay theocratic redemption vampires
  • The adventures of Captain Fanny and Optimus Cock
  • Dairy of a slutty fuzz rhino

All Girl Teams

Go girl power! I got most of these from the interwebs, there were many others like "pink warriors" or "help us save second base", but many were for breast cancer teams, so look inappropriate out of context.

  • Girl power
  • Goal diggers
  • 50 shades of awesome ... (or "greatness")
  • Team sweaty coconuts
  • Victorious secret
  • Chicks with kicks
  • Blondes have more fun ... (add "is what losers say")
  • Pavement princesses
  • The pokeymoms
  • Nymphomaniac ninjas
  • The ponytail express
  • Taco Belles
  • Chicks with sticks
  • Taco belles
  • Lady bugs
  • Magnificent menopause mermaids
  • Back street girls
  • Beauties from the block
  • Queen bees
  • Powerful thighs
  • The spicy sugars
  • Hey soul sisters
  • We classy AF
  • Oh no she didn't!
  • The bookworm babes
  • Leading ladies
  • Pantsuit sisters
  • Virginity
  • Brass ovaries
  • Hungry hungry hippy hoes
  • Charming chicks get more blank
  • Hustling honeys
  • Mean girls
  • Female force
  • Innocent god fearing nuns
  • Your local prostitutes
  • PMS united
  • OMG
  • The rack attack .......... (or rack pack)
  • The get it girls
  • Sassy cats
  • Slut dragons
  • Vicious trollops
  • Former miss worlds
  • Whiplashed wonder women
  • Lunachicks
  • You can still bounce a quarter off it
  • Hardcore sissies
  • Basic bitches and proud of it .......... (what's wrong with being basic?)
  • Belida's bitches .......... (pick your leader's name)
  • Shameless flirts
  • Future cougars
  • Makeup factory
  • Horny hermanas
  • Drunk wives matter
  • Team booblicious
  • Estrogen expressed
  • Lookers not hookers
  • Cunning stunts
  • Hell on heels
  • The better halves
  • Farmer's daughters
  • Must be this tall to ride .......... (or just say "6 feet tall to ride")
  • A man will fix it
  • Angry amazonians
  • Unpaid maids
  • Better late than pregnant
  • Generally unpleasant women
  • Unlimited chat
  • Damsels in a mess
  • Drama queens
  • Golden girls
  • Sistas from different mistas .......... (or "... to keep away from your mistas")
  • Doomsday divas
  • Feisty firecrackers
  • Bad intentions
  • Butt nuggets
  • Future baby factories
  • Tickled pink
  • Beach please
  • Pouty face princesses*

All Guy Teams

You're looking around and all the other teams have girls... except yours. Time to come to terms and embrace the situation: without any chicks to impress you can embrace the "alcohol inspired" team names and get drunk in your underpants. Be proud of your premium beef all male team.

  • Sausage factory
  • Nothing but dicks
  • Bromance central #
  • The dude club #
  • Sweaty balls club #
  • Hairy backs anonymous #
  • We leave the lid up
  • Trouser snakes R us
  • Bromagetton
  • Bro-workers
  • Pregnant men
  • Fat fellows
  • Bromance central
  • Mansplainers
  • Assless chaps
  • Brothers from another mother ... (or "... who like your mother")
  • Meat mountains
  • Team back hair
  • Nothing but dicks
  • Shameless slobs
  • Spinifex cowboys
  • Speedos and streetwalkers
  • There's a rattlesnake in my pants
  • The three wankers
  • Pancakes and sperm
  • We'll shave tomorrow
  • Can't I be happy to see you *and* have a banana in my pants
  • We leave the lid up
  • Four skin-bags ... (or just "skin bags")
  • Magic mike's training club
  • Assmen
  • The giggling gigolos
  • No one mansplains like Gaston
  • Pull my finger
  • Foreskins and friends
  • Our couch pulls out, but we don’t
  • Open zippers
  • Proud farters
  • We don't pay child support

Nationality Inspired

Someone foreign on your team? Making fun of them is not optional - it's your duty. I haven't covered all nationalities, but there isn't a country or state on earth without a stereotype you can't turn into a team name. Just make sure it isn't a negative stereotype and consult with your minority first first and then your team. Fried chicken might be out.

  • America: best team name ever, if you don't agree you're a terrorist
  • America's best chance
  • Texas is the smartest country I know
  • Canada: America's hat
  • Dingo ate our babies * .......... (add "but we still get child support #" if you want too) :)
  • We have thunder down under .......... (two Aussie jokes - guess what country I'm from)
  • New Zealand: the number one buyer of Velcro gloves # .......... (yes, it related to sheep, or "ride on lawn mowers" as they say in NZ)
  • The dirty Frenchmen
  • Smelly homeless Europeans
  • Our table's a bigger sausage fest than Germany
  • Asian persuasion
  • It's always vodka time in Russia
  • Well Hungarians

Written Jokes

Run out of ideas. Any two sentence joke can be a team name. Below are just a few, but try it with your own favorite joke. The lame jokes can actually be the best.

  • Joke: What's brown and sticky? ... A stick .......... (or "poo")
  • What's brown and rhymes with snoop dog? Dr Dre.
  • Why did the koala fall out a tree? It died.
  • What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
  • Knock knock .......... (if any team is drunk enough they'll yell out "who's there")
  • Can someone stand up and tell a joke
  • Call me delta Airlines, cuz I can't handle all your extra baggage
  • A free beer to whoever stands up and does a good knock knock

Team Names For Reading Aloud

For something like trivia, you can expect or at least hope your team name gets read aloud by the quizmaster or MC at some point. Maybe every round. Most of the team names in this section play with that, and bring in a little interactivity.

Ribbing the MC

A good MC should be able to handle hecklers and abuse, so why poke some fun and test him a little with words he'll might be embarrassed to say.

  • Sorry to change the subject, but I have a drinking problem #
  • I wish this microphone was a penis .......... (hilarious)
  • Does our MC seem a little gay tonight
  • My name is Rod, and I like to party
  • My name is Brad and I will screw for work visa .......... (insert name of mc/quizmaster)
  • Bethany says the MC is hot, is that true? #
  • Oh yeah, baby, like that, oooooo god, yes, yes, yes, and I'm done
  • Hey guys, I'm looking for Amanda Hugginkiss? .......... (inspired by "prank call names", such as those by Bart Simpson)

Challenging the QuizMaster

Test your QuizMasters speech skills with these.

  • And in first place with a million points
  • The wiener is...
  • 69 points... hehehe
  • Why doez zee quiz-master mock Doich-land
  • Red leather yellow leather, red leather yellow leather .......... (tongue twister - any will do)
  • Quiz man, we will give you $5 if we win best name #
  • The quizmaster doesn't like the word vagina

Foreign Language

I have never actually seen this, but it occurred to me that if you have a mix of foreign speakers spread about you can cause a commotion by writing in that language. The guy who reads it will have no idea if it's rude or not, and that's the beauty. Hopefully a few people around the room will be able to translate (or look it up) for their team. :)

  • Baila para mí mono .......... ("Dance for me monkey" - in Spanish)
  • Se deshace Mi mosca .......... ("My fly is undone" - in French)
  • Ich blase Ziegen .......... ("I blow goats" - in German - cheers Wayne's World)

Jabs at the Establishment

It won't get you free drinks, but it will earn a laugh. You might want to read the room for this one... if you're at a black tie event or nanna's Tuesday bingo you might think about the "Safe as houses" section.

  • Next week we are taking our business to a fine drinking establishment down Oxley street because it has better questions, drink specials and it doesn't smell of spoilt food
  • Don't order the burger, this is not mayonnaise #
  • The sticky stuff under the table is bubblegum right?
  • Where's Waldo? He probably hung himself in the restroom, because the service in this place is so bad
  • Don't use the restrooms here, the condoms in the dispenser are already used

Jabs at your Own Team / Team Member

Everyone loves a little self-deprecation - what is it about your team you can make fun of.

  • Dating related:
    • My trivia team mate doesn't know this is a date **
    • Not gonna lie, we're pretty drunk.... and everyone is looking pretty good right now.
    • I thought this was speed dating
    • My girlfriend just broke up with me... apparently size does matter
  • General fun:
    • Nobody look, but someone on our team is constipated today... make your own guesses #
    • My team sucks, we're probably going to lose, but I'm pretending to enjoy myself
    • When you're this f**ked, the team name doesn't matter
    • Eve's posse # .......... (insert name of a girl in your team - sounds like you-know-what)
    • Future Walmart greeters
    • Entitled trust fund babies
    • We're with the band
    • Adults out of order
    • We're coping
    • Screaming internally
    • Started at the bottom... still there
    • Well why would I sleep my way to the middle
    • Can I have a woo woo? # .......... (yell out "woo woo" like a train noise)
    • We're all banging the same dude
    • My pee is also silent
    • Guess which one is on top
    • Not here to make friends
    • Epic failures
    • Barely adulting
    • This town's closest thing to intellectuals
    • The kids that got bullied in high school
    • We just came for the self esteem boost
    • Pure embarrassment
    • Jason on our team says beastiality is legal in most US states. How does he know that?
    • Barry ate cereal for dinner because his parents are poor
    • More badass than grandma's M.. F.. crouton salad.
  • Introduce your member:
    • The prudish girl, forever-student, the lawyer wannabe and glorified secretary .......... (describe your team)
    • 2 guys 1 girl .......... (if you are just lazy, but for this you could also say "Devil's threesome")
    • One chick and four dicks .......... (adjust for your team, or do the "one rack, four sacks" variation)
    • The team with that one black guy
    • First world problems
    • We are the little spoons
    • Australian brand underpants .......... (we often call these "underoos")
    • A bunch of idiots who yell whenever they get mentioned # .......... (this is your cue to yell)
    • Five angry men
    • I thought this was a pub crawl Tim
    • Mitch is asshole
    • Asian who are bad at maths
  • Trashy sex:
    • The guys you don't want porkin' your daughter
    • We put out on the first date
  • Contraception:
    • We buy lube from Costco
    • Walmart condoms. What more do you need to know
    • Plan B poster children
    • Four good arguments for contraception
  • Bad parenting:
    • Mommy didn't love me
    • You dishonor on your family
    • I'm pregnant
    • Teenage pregnancy
    • Getting pregnant outside 7/11
    • John there's no other way to tell you this, you are not the father
    • Dad says we might be related
    • Redheaded stepchildren .......... (maybe say that you colored your hair)
    • Our families are poor
    • We all hit our children

Communicating with other Teams

These are mostly appropriate for bar/trivia nights, but you could probably adapt for other situations too

  • The four girls across from the shot wheel are dirty bitches
  • Our fake girlfriend died today, any girls out there single? #
  • For a good time call 858-525-3525 # .......... (give the number of someone on your team and expect it to get called)
  • It's Alex's 25th birthday, please everyone buy him a drink
  • Jeff got dumped today. someone give him a kiss to cheer him up #
  • Seriously, who in this room farted? #
  • Shout now if you love Utah..... that's what I thought
  • Silently judging all of you
  • Does anyone know if the bartender is single? He's okay looking.... I guess. #
  • Hey bartender, whats’s your number
  • Mr bartender we spoke to your mom and she said you should give us free drinks. Also you're adopted.

Inappropriate Team Names

Some of the above jokes were a *little* rude, but let's be honest, you are excited about the really naughty ones!

Bit Rude

For the non-drinking crowd.

  • Crack-smoking monkeys
  • We all have daddy issues
  • Fat married people .......... ("lazy" or "sad" works too if you prefer)
  • Morning wood
  • Ask me how I made $40 today
  • No glove, no love
  • Village idiots
  • Foot stuff
  • Matching carpet
  • Hairy tentacles
  • Our first time be gentle
  • Sisters and fisters
  • Spank me Elmo # .......... (randomly inspired by a beautiful Ukrainian girl.... "smachnogo" )


Warning: The internet is full of dirty team names (some too dirty for me to repeat), so don't say I didn't warn you!

  • My couch pulls out but I don't
  • Make up sex... totalllly worth fighting for
  • You know you wanna hit this
  • Treasured chests
  • Four play
  • Final fourgasm
  • Bukake at my place tonight?
  • Mattress actress
  • Touched by an uncle
  • (Ass) ring of fire
  • It is suspicious.... if I shake it more than three times
  • Camouflage condoms... she didn't see us coming
  • Chafing the dream
  • Sloppy seconds
  • Test icicles ***
  • We like it dirty
  • Hung like a javelin
  • The DP duo .......... (DP stands for "Double Penetration")
  • The great barrier queef
  • I'm no doctor, but I don't think 50,000 'likes' are gonna cure that kids cancer
  • I just won the cum bucket challenge
  • Dirty girls and filthy boy
  • The gentleman's throbbing chomper
  • Love sponge: use your imagination
  • Rattlesnakes and condoms: 2 things I don't f**k with
  • Raped by dolphins
  • Deep throats with votes # .......... (or just "Deep throating" works too)
  • Nine inch males
  • Is it still praying if you're holding anal beads?
  • Tunisian anal beads
  • We like to come from behind
  • Win or lose, you are probably masturbating alone tonight #
  • Twerkers and jerkers .......... (a good friend suggested this as co-ed team name :) )
  • Slap my monkey you naughty old man
  • Lesbian barbie comes in her own box
  • Please stop the bus, I need to let my brother Jack off **
  • Save a tree, eat a beaver
  • It's only gay if you push back
  • It's not gay if you high five at the end .......... (and are many variations on the "it's not gay if" jokes)
  • It's not cheating if it's a threesome .......... (yup, are many "it's not cheating if" jokes too)
  • Phil ate me .......... (say it aloud)
  • If you seek Amy .......... (like the Britney song)
  • Clitty clitty gang bang
  • Are you fisting me? .......... (if this doesn't make the MC stutter, nothing will)
  • No means yes, yes means anal .......... (except maybe this)
  • White, wet, on your face, and in your eyes... it's snow you guys!
  • Gag a little bit to make me feel big
  • Sometimes I jerk off in the bathroom, sometimes
  • The world's most conservative bar sluts
  • Married gay people don't get any either
  • Still fully clothed, where are those drinks
  • Liquor? but I don't even know 'er **
  • Came for the orgy, stayed for the trivia .......... (actually kind of clever - it implies there was an orgy)
  • At least your mom finished school # .......... (you can do hundreds of "your mum" team names, I decided to include just one tame one)
  • Your mother's no thief, but you should see her snatch .......... (oh - this one's not mine!)
  • No butt stuff **

Politician Jokes

Yup, I put these all together, because they make some people ill

  • Make our team great again
  • Trump's final impeachment
  • We got kicked out of the Trump rally
  • Trump university valedictorians
  • Build that wall
  • We miss Nixon
  • Basic intelligence for president?
  • Clinton's favorite cigar
  • The generation you probably murdered - love Greta

Politically Incorrect

Don't pretend these don't make you smile. Politically incorrect team names are the funniest - especially if it's about something recent. But these are unsafe fore life, not just work. They could get you fired.

  • Stephen Hawking's school of dance **
  • Russel Crow's tempter
  • About as untouched as Madonna #
  • Fat kids are hard to kidnap
  • Cerebral palsies
  • White privilege
  • I we lose, our father will beat us. But yeah sure, it's all about having fun.
  • Okay, so I'll say it. Pandemics are a massive cock block
  • The Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller tennis match
  • Two pounds of hair gel for Bruce Willis
  • Li Wong's Much Good Driving School
  • Bill Cosby's Childcare Center
  • Justin Bieber is our pot dealer
  • Confession bear: we actually like Justin Bieber #
  • It's okay, Barbara Streisand endorsed us #
  • Tiger Woods fans: he plays 36 holes a day and still finds time for golf
  • I'm gonna drive to your house and beat you like the whore that you are. Love, Mel Gibson
  • That baby don't look like me
  • I don't wanna sound racist, but...
  • I want my baby black... so I don't have to pay for it
  • Rock me sexy Jesus
  • Polite Nazis
  • Inverted oreos
  • Weinstein's casting couch
  • Not my me too moment
  • Jesus is coming, get him a towel ***
  • You know who else does trivia on Monday?... Communists
  • The kids R. Kelly peed on
  • Golden showers
  • We're going to beat you like we were Chris Brown
  • The best thing about necrophilia is you don't have to bring flowers
  • Margaret Thatcher... I still would
  • World's tallest midgets
  • Show me on the doll where he touched you **
  • Beaten like a red-headed step child
  • Government slutdown
  • There's a little lesbian in all of us #
  • Like grammy always said. If you're not white your wrong

Specific Team Names

Here are some team names which could only really work for the activity they are described for.

Trivia / Quiz Team Inspired

Yay trivia nights!

  • Let's get trivial
  • Quizzly bears
  • Quizlamic extremists **
  • Quiz all over your face
  • Quizzin' our pants
  • If we win we're going to Disney world!
  • Big fact hunt
  • I'm too trivia to drunk
  • Ask more questions about Cher
  • We should have paid more attention in college
  • I love coming to trivia.... and that's why I bring spare pants # .......... (one of my proudest) :)
  • Gin and topics
  • Trvia: reminiscing about the times you weren't alive
  • The master-debaters #
  • Quizness in the front, party in the back
  • Make trivia great again
  • Just guessing
  • Question heirs
  • Stable geniuses
  • The smartest guys in the room
  • Google
  • We're only here to establish an alibi
  • Superiority complex
  • Lavish display of ignorance
  • Ithering blidiots

Pop Culture Trivia Team Names

  • Nobody expects a Spanish In-quiz-ition
  • Trivia Newton John
  • John Trivialta
  • Sherlock homies
  • The quizzard of oz
  • Apple-bottom geniuses
  • Obviously not smarter than a fifth grader ***
  • Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Because we brought one
  • Luck has nothing to do with it
  • Low expectations
  • Alternative facts anonymous
  • Oops I quizzed in my pants .......... (best sang to Britney song) :)
  • The league of extraordinary guessers
  • Suck it, Trebek!
  • Quiz Khalifa
  • James bond: quiz another day
  • Can we use a lifeline?
  • Disney quiznesses
  • The night before Quizmas
  • Dumbledorks

Fitness Team Names

I've never been on any fitness team, but if I was I'd chose a name like this.

  • Workout:
    • Mission slimpossible
    • The pain train
    • Call me a cab
    • And on the 8th day, god created yoga pants #
    • Mind over mudder .......... (or "how I met you mudder" is another)
    • Waist management
    • We could be sleeping in right now
    • The incredibelles
    • Razzle-dazzle with not follow through
    • Through thick and thin
  • Running and track:
    • Baby got track
    • Running like the winded
    • Case of the runs
    • The agony of da feet
    • We overslept
    • Blondes have more run
    • Your pace or mine
    • Not fast, just furious
    • Agony of de feet

Sports Teams

People have written down team name lists for just about everything! Soccer, tennis, broomball, rowing, basketball, volleyball - you name it there are names on the web... but since there are so many sports I decided to just take a few. If you have a specific sport in mind then try one of the links down the bottom.

  • General:
    • Straight off the couch
    • At least our uniforms match.
    • Here for the participation trophy
    • Scrambled legs
    • Not in the face
    • Ump yours!
    • Overweight married people attempting sport
    • Get ready to stumble
    • Gone with the win
    • Blood bath and beyond
    • At least our outfits are impressive
    • Benchwarmers united
    • Our best players are not here
  • Bowing:
    • The bowling stones
    • Regular bowl movements
  • Tennis:
    • All about that ace
    • What a racquet
  • Football:
    • Man-chest-hair united **
    • I'd hit that
    • No punt intended
    • Cleats and cleavage
  • Baseball:
    • Master batters
    • Basic pitches
    • No hit Sherlock
  • Basketball:
    • Net results
    • The hot shots
    • Space jam is delicious
    • Ball of duty
    • Back that pass up Heather
  • Swimming:
    • Titanic swim team

Work Teams

Is this a work team building exercise? You poor thing. Choose a name which lets the boss know that you object, without being too obvious about it. Or maybe you're the guy who is actually enjoying it all - probably keep that to yourself for a while and don't seem too happy.

  • Smells like team spirit .......... (feel free to add "and body odor" or "Ted's feet")
  • Staff infection
  • Business as unusual
  • Quality control
  • Synergy slayers
  • TPS reporters #
  • Team ass-kissers: because we have the best boss in the world #
  • Everything our boss says is funny
  • Barely managing
  • Capital gains
  • Down for the account
  • Out of the cubicle and into the fire

Nerd Inspired

Is your team activity a chess, maths or science competition? Or maybe it's not a nerdy event, but your whole time happens to be scientists or wannabe nerds. Time to bring out the big electron guns, and come up with a suitably nerdy name. Maths symbols in the name are options, but make sure it delivers with a big bang, or at least a long groan.

  • Natural selection
  • Geology rocks
  • Nothing cooler than absolute zero
  • Everyday I'm calculatin'
  • Full Marx
  • Nerd herd
  • Nerds of a feather (study together)

Reading Inspired

Is it sadder to be in a reading club, or that your reading club gave itself a geeky ass name.

  • The bookworms
  • Good between the covers
  • Literal trash
  • Fiction addiction
  • On the same page
  • Read it and weep
  • Well read, badly behaved
  • Shelf indulgence
  • Textual relations
  • Read between the wines
  • The lucid library lurkers
  • Irritable vowel syndrome

School Inspired

Ever wake up in a sweat imagining you're about to sit your finals and you forgot to study. Or maybe you're wearing nothing but out-of-fashion underpants in the middle of school assembly. It was a time of innocents and embarrassment, but chances are you'd love to do it all again with the incredible experience and wit you have now. Time for recess boys and girls.

  • Failed english majors
  • Skipping class right now
  • Changing majors... again
  • Study buddies
  • C's gets degrees, grandma
  • Caffeine and power naps
  • Unpaid library fines
  • All nighters and grandma's stash of cocaine #
  • Hungry college students need food

Board Game Inspired

Sometimes team names might be required for a game night. Why not twist the name of any classic board game. Or just put "your mum" at the end. If all else fails, pretty much 50% of all the white cards in a cards against humanity deck are winners for best team name. Don't believe me? Flip through a deck.

  • Nerdy board games
    • Ticket to ride... your sister
    • Settlers of you mum
    • Camel toe
  • Cards against humanity games
    • Pac man uncontrollably guzzling cum .......... (the best card in "cards against humanity")
    • "Big black cock" for the win .......... (the second most powerful card in "cards against humanity")
    • Mass erect field
    • Kale, couscous and day-old semen
    • The five hour drive to Vegas
    • Wil Wheaton's chest hair
    • A "Doctor Who" body pillow
    • Penis sock puppets
    • Siberian work camps
    • Being a dick to children
    • A sad fat dragon with no frieds
    • Monkeys beating sticks against an obelisk
    • Taking down Santa with a surface-to-air missile

Computer Game Inspired

Oh you sad sad nerds. Did you buy this book just to help decide on a team name for your warcraft or fortnite friends. Maybe you suck at life, but hey, if it gives you satisfaction in life to frag a five year old boy in Russia then who are we to judge you. Nobody was actually hurt right. You just made someone cry, and your team name will make them extra angry.

  • Random server error
  • Panicked keyboard mashing
  • Fraternity of frag
  • Game over
  • Weak signal
  • Different timezone
  • Even gamers get laid sometimes
  • Trojan donkey
  • Desktop warriors
  • We will destroy you and burn your village
  • Mom says bedtime is at 10
  • Make love not warcraft

Bonus Round

  • Furiously masturbating gerbils
  • Dingo ate my baby
  • Legless wombat
  • Throw another shrimp at Barbara
  • Goddess of food porn
  • 24 hour food porn network
  • TedEx wannabes
  • More STDs and worse ethics than a bar tender.
  • Sassy and trashy
  • Skanks in spanks
  • Blokes with jokes
  • It's not cheating if you don't get caught .......... (for board games)
  • T-rex can't masturbate. That's why he's angry

Making Your Own Team Name

Copying one of the above is fine, but if you want to be extra proud of taking out best name, use this list as inspiration and dream up your own. To come up with such names, here are four parting tips.

Don't be afraid to:

  1. Make it long (helps you stand out) "Alabama: because over there it's fine to meet your wife on"
  2. Poke fun of people (your team, nationality, those in charge, other teams... whatever) "My toupee is also French"
  3. Add colorful adjectives (especially with animal names) "The juxtaposition unicorns"
  4. Be naughty (suggestive names are the most memorable) "Yes, we f**k on the first date"

Go get creative! :)


Hope you've enjoyed this list!

I kind of finished on a low point - with the nerdy ones, but some of the names I found on the internet were so good I laughed to the point of crying when I read them. Some were actually too rude to copy here, but in the list of links below you might dig up some gems I either missed or decided were a little too much for this page.

Have a great team activity with your awesome team name.... oh, and don't hesitate to email me other great names!


    Andrew Noske

PS: One day I may return to this page and address the face I've completely skipped team names for board game. My apologies/sympathy if you are one of these nerds. Just call yourselves "A server error" and get back to your starcraft and dungeons and dragons game. :)

See Also

  • Card messages - Some funny things you can write into cards. Lots of the "leaving work" ones I came up with myself, and I'm pretty proud of. The rest are crap of course.